I really don't like spontaneous roller coaster of emotions. I hide it... to the best of my ability... no one likes a person with emotions so it seems. Lately I've been getting some highest highs and then falling into what feels like the lowest lows. I wish I could re-edited my life, proof read it.... I talk about change... but I never do it... why? when did I become so unmotivated... I'm getting so many of these nights of interrupted sleep... and sleeping all day. I need to change I have to... I can't breathe and I'm suffocating. I don't want to bring others into these feelings... it would hurt me to much... plus it's not an easy thing to talk about... but I know I'm not alone. This morning I had what may be one of the best runs of my life (3 miles) I felt so good !! So on top of the world... then all the sudden that feeling deflated and left. I don't get it.
I just needed to vent.. rough night at school... and other things.